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Can I just be a massive cliche for a second and tell you that for the year and a half period that followed my graduation, I was SAD. However, cliches don’t appear out of thin air; the post-grad slump is real and it makes sense, especially in creative industries. It’s very rare to go straight into your dream job – whatever you do to stay afloat feels like a massive step down when you’ve just spent the last three or four years dedicating yourself to a very specific thing. Although I’m not singing nearly enough as I want, I feel a lot happier now compared to that year and a half and I think I’ve solved the mystery of what made that shift occur.
Almost two years ago, I joined a wonderful collective of female vocalists called Songbird Sessions. They’re all amazing ladies, most of whom I already knew in various capacities from my time at university. Going to the audition, I was just excited to sing and see some familiar faces, but talking with the other girls who were auditioning, I realised that I had just been through a time where I didn’t have any sort of network of singers around me and that that had never happened before in my life. Leaving uni, being desperate to pay rent, chucking myself into waitressing and feeling like I’d lost my identity – that audition was the first time in so long that I felt right and situated. No offence, but it felt so good to talk to other people who understood when I said I felt frustrated about not singing much and their response wasn’t “have you thought about going on X Factor?”.
I think it’s the case for a lot of us that we grow up building our love of singing and having our experiences very much tied with other people – we sing in choirs, pretend to be in pop groups with friends on the playground and join theatre groups. It wasn’t until I was in my late teens that I would show up to a rehearsal and there were no other singers there. There’s still a part of me that hates being the only singer in a band. I hate the pressure (that only exists in my own head) to be the singer. When I think back on my favourite performances, a lot of them are still from my time in my local youth jazz orchestra. There was always a team of 4 – 8 singers and we spent so much time together and got so comfortable around each other – I can think of no healthier environment for a vocalist. Whilst working really hard to get a great sound, I don’t remember anyone having much vanity around their voice. I remember a LOT of making really stupid sounds (which, in hindsight, was actually a very good exercise in vocal play!). We all knew each other well enough that anything that went wrong during a gig was always much more funny than it was a problem to be dealt with. I know that I felt safe – and I hope the other girls did as well – to make mistakes.
There are plenty of anthropological studies we could google right now that prove that singing is something that’s meant to be done together. It’s innate. Even if someone’s singing by themselves, it’s usually for the benefit of others; to create support, to communicate, or just for other people’s enjoyment. If I can call talent competition culture a thing, talent competition culture has a lot to answer for. I feel like we’re all encouraged to use our skills nowadays to get ahead and prove that we can be the best; it’s all very self-interesty. During uni, a friend and I made a video series where we would invite different singers and instrumentalists to cover songs with us. Originally, it was to showcase the two of us as a BV unit, but we ended up teaming up with a bunch of our friends who had featured in the videos to audition for a BBC show. Honestly, I was sceptical and didn’t think there was much point. We had just a few days to get our group together and arrange three songs for seven vocalists for the audition. For me, a singing competition was a competition; the odds were against us, so what was the point? I am SO thankful that my friend was into the idea because it ended up being such a fulfilling time of my life and totally retrained my brain’s perceptions about those kinds of experiences (we got through the audition and onto the show, by the way). The seven of us were spending most of our free time rehearsing for the show during the last half of our final year of uni – a time which, I imagine, would be really isolating had we not had the show to bring us together. Once we got to the studio and met the other contestants, any concept I might have had left of this being a competition quickly vanished away. None of the groups seemed to be doing this because they felt it would give them a leg up in their careers – the majority of them were choirs or theatre groups; just people who loved to sing who ended up together because of that shared love. And oh my goodness, they were all the nicest bunch of people. Over the three days at the studio, I’ve never witnessed so much camaraderie and support and appreciation between strangers. I feel like being on that show really reminded me that singing has always been so much more than showing off and trying to be the best.
But let’s not get too emotional, everyone! There are practical reasons for surrounding yourself with other vocalists as well – there’s a lot to learn! Something I was missing during my ‘dark age’ after uni was motivation. I have always needed something tangible to aspire to, otherwise I will … forget. Which sounds ridiculous, but you only know what you know and you can only learn what you know you don’t know. You get what I mean? All the ladies in Songbird Sessions are incredible. Every time I listen to any of them, they do something that I’ve never thought of, or do something so well that I realise I really need to step up my game. There’s something that someone does in every rehearsal that makes me want to go home and learn it for myself. That doesn’t just make my voice stronger, it makes singing more fun. As well as having their own individual strengths vocally, all these vocalists that I know now are all on such different paths. It’s made me feel a lot more confident in my own.
*I’ve just realised this is THE most untimely blog post. You probably shouldn’t be joining a choir or anything now. It’s not safe. Unless you all sing below speech volume, which is like … good luck?. Zoom choirs are a thing. Find a nice Zoom choir and enjoy all the great things about ‘being around’ lots of singers!