Spooky Singing Stories
I’ve gotta tell you – I love a theme. Halloween’s coming up, so I HAD to make this week’s post Halloween-themed (Hallowthemed?). Also gotta tell you – coming up with an idea to combine Halloween with singing was really hard. But I think I’ve come up with … something?
So! Here’s a short collection of ‘Spooky Singing Stories’: things that have been said to me – or around me – over the years which, when I think about them now, send true shivers down my spine. They really creep me out. Especially since I heard most of these things when I was a teenager. Some of these statements are plain misogyny or racism – things that are real-life scary and I’m horrified that that I didn’t know any better to challenge them at the time; others are just opinions that do not align AT ALL with what I’ve come to understand about singing but, if you believe them to be true or helpful, that’s absolutely fine. I’m not trying to be a judgy bitch (today), I’m just having a lil Halloween fun!!
‘You have to learn to be sexy.’
‘Have you thought of going on The X Factor?’
‘If you’re singing properly, you’ll end up with a 6 pack.’
‘You won’t have any trouble getting gigs, because you’re a girl.’
‘I wish you had ironed your dress.’ (the ONLY comment from one particular judge at a SINGING competition I entered, when I was a child)
‘Gospel singers put ‘H’ in front of all their vowels because they’re not powerful enough.’
‘Mariah Carey does all those riffs because she can’t actually sing.’
‘Your larynx shouldn’t move when you sing.’ (no shade, though)
‘A female singer has to be pretty, I don’t agree with it, but that’s just the way it is.’ (and this individual preceded to tell me the story of that time he chose to fire the female lead vocalist from his band because, although she was a great singer, she wasn’t very attractive …)
‘JUST GO FOR IT!!’
‘Singers are musicians because you can’t teach this. I can learn guitar – a guitarist can’t learn to sing.’ (this didn’t make sense to me then … doesn’t make sense now)
‘You should sing classical music, classical singers are trained.’
‘Feel this, this is my diaphragm.’ (reader, it was their sternum)
Hope you can get to sleep at night, after all spookiness! Happy Halloween!!