What A Way To Make A Living

If I had my way, I would have left school, and spent every year since, alternating between doing BVs on tour with Barry Manilow, and then JoJo, and then Phil Collins. I’d be set for life: financially and musically fulfilled. However, life is cruel and doesn’t give you everything you want at a moment’s notice, apparently. Very upsetting. My dream didn’t come to fruition at 18yrs old and, ten years later, we’re still a very, very, very long way off. It’s still not a regular occurrence for singing to make much of a difference to my monthly income and, to be honest, it’s something that makes me feel a little sad. Particularly since leaving university, I’ve been terrified of not having money, yet often berate myself for prioritising financial security over reaping numerous other benefits that could come from taking a risk and fully committing to the thing that makes me most happy to do. But - what do we say around here?! Everything has value. As the years have absolutely rocketed by, I’ve come to see how my string of ‘normal’ jobs have actually helped me along in becoming a more well-rounded vocalist and recognised all the transferable skills I’ve accrued. So, as a little personal exercise, and for any other creatives with a huge failure-complex, I thought we could take a journey - into my past and through my CV - to reflect on all the ways in which my experience of employment hasn’t actually been a total waste of time.

High Street Retail Assistant 

(that sounds so much better than ‘stood by the changing rooms for two months whilst everyone else who worked there regularly pointed out that if you get put on changing rooms, it means you’re shit’)

Like I said, I only worked there for two months over Christmas, so I’m not sure how many significant life lessons you can fit into that amount of time. Although, they did call me in on Christmas Eve (my day off) to tell me that they wouldn’t be keeping me on, because they couldn’t keep any of the Christmas staff on after January, despite me knowing that they were keeping the other Christmas staff on after January. What is it they say? Every rejection is a redirection? That’s a good thing to learn, I suppose.

Label Factory

Now! This is where we get into some serious life lessons, applicable to being a musician! First of all, we would have to pack boxes full of leaflets and then carry those boxes over to a pallet, so if I’m ever on a gig with you and you’ve got some gear that weighs 11kg or less, just know that I am fully capable of helping you out with that! Other than that, we would have to spend several hours monitoring a label printer and having to press a few buttons or do a bit of reloading every so often. I have to say, it really got me used to coming up with ways to keep myself occupied whilst having to wait around for hours on end, not able to do much else - something not totally unheard of in the music world!

Nursery Assistant

As a far-too-naive-for-my-age young adult, I was SHOCKED to learn that working with children involved more effort than just reading them a book when I was bored with painting and counting. Although I quickly realised that being in a classroom full-time wasn’t for me, I loved exercising my analytical skills, making observations and seeing how everything related to each individual child and their own development. It’s something I’ve ended up feeling really passionate about as I embark upon teaching private singing lessons. Having to concentrate on people, other than myself, made me aware of just how different everyone is and how there can be various ways to approach one thing. It was also a great exercise in adapting to your audience. I’d be working with different age groups throughout the day and, as silly as it is that I didn’t know already, I learnt that you do have to alter your behaviour and demeanour depending on who’s listening to you. Sometimes, the same goes for when you’re singing!

Waitressing

I’ve been a waitress at events and I’ve worked at a few restaurants - both have unique pros and cons.  My feelings might be clouded by nostalgia, but I think I really enjoyed working events. Again, there was lots of hanging around, but it was cool to get a behind-the-scenes look at what were sometimes quite big operations and I’m much better at navigating my way through central London than I would’ve been without that job. Since I was working at different venues all the time and learning to quickly make friends for the day, it really helped me to feel more independent, which I think is really important for musicians - especially if you’re a singer (in my experience, singers tend to be the ones to rally and organise everyone). I also, obviously, loved watching and studying whoever was playing. When you’re a guest at a wedding, for example, you’re having too much fun to pay too much attention. It was really interesting to actually be sober and see how different bands and acts put their sets together and pick up some performance tips. 

I didn’t have a great time working at restaurants, so it’s tricky to conjure up a rose-coloured haze to surround the experience, but I worked with some wonderful people - many of whom were creatives and that was always really nice to have people to relate to and make connections with. My workplaces tended to be in quite affluent areas, so I have to admit that I’ve built up somewhat of a tolerance for speaking to types of people that I don’t usually enjoy talking to, which is always handy! 

And let’s not forget the time I served Anne Hathaway, which was very important (she’s so nice).

Cinema Assistant

Here we land, in the present! I currently (except not totally currently, because we’ve been in and out of national lockdowns for almost a year now) work in a super cute, very bougie independent cinema. The type that doesn’t have sticky floors and the usher greets you and makes an announcement before the film starts - which is exactly my first point! I’m so bad at talking. I don’t think things through before I say them, or I think them through too much, and it always ends up a dithering, waffly mess. It might be a bit of a chicken/egg situation, honestly. In my talent competition days, there was so much emphasis put on my ‘chat’ and critique over how I was planning to say “hi everyone, how are you doing tonight?”. I’m never very sure whether I’ve never been great at speaking to audiences, or if I developed a weird neurosis over it in my teens. Either way, now having to do this several times a night, knowing that a number of people in the audience are like “ … what tf is this?” (I think it’s a super cute feature, but some people will always be a bit taken aback), has really helped me get over myself. People really don’t care. You can say what you want (don’t take that too literally, please). After working at the cinema for a while and getting this practice in, I really noticed a huge difference in my attitude towards introducing songs at gigs and how much more confident I was. 

Practical skills aside, this job has also really helped my mind/soul/body connection. I like films and I like my job. I’d previously spent years, miserable and tired and frustrated, feeling like I ‘had’ to be a waitress because there was no other option if I wanted to sing*. I wasn’t interested in it and I resented it a lot for making me feel so tired that I was scared to practice in case I’d ruin my voice. I felt stuck in my life and so that manifested in my body. I’m now (not right now - pandemic, lockdown - you get me) doing something that doesn’t set my soul on fire, but I am interested in it and in what goes on around me. Singing is so wrapped up in mental health. You can’t deny the effects they have on each other. As well as physically feeling ready to sing because I’m no longer doing a job that absolutely exhausts me, I feel like a more well-rounded and confident person who’s able to spend their work day invested in what they’re doing, rather than feeling desperate to get through it. That’s such a privileged position to be in, and I recognise how much it’s benefitted me.

It can be so disheartening to spend your day-to-day doing something that’s just not anything to do with what you want to be doing. As musicians/creatives, I think it’s a position that many of us find ourselves in. For me, I feel safe in the knowledge that I’m putting myself in that position. It’s not the most inspiring way to live life but, I feel like it’s part of my ‘bigger picture’ … and I’m a scaredy cat at the minute, who’s terrified of having no money. I can’t imagine what it’s been like for all the people who have been brave enough to commit to music and performing as their full-time jobs and had to take a huge step back during this pandemic. I hope anyone reading this can, at the very least, feel less alone - everyone, if given the choice, would be the most successful in their career of choice and there are so many external factors that can get in the way of that, there’s no need for shame - and as an added bonus, muster up some gratitude for whatever situation they find themselves in. You never know when something might come in handy!

*just to clarify - I'm not trying to shit on being a waitress - my feelings towards me doing it as a job are entirely caught up in various other personal issues and it’s just not for me.